Ayden looked to the sky to try and prevent the water which was filling his eyes from falling. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare. Jayda suddenly had become a stranger to him, the girl he knew wasn’t capable of breaking his heart like this. What had he done to deserve this? When he slept with Erica he was in pursuit of Jayda but she showed no interest and he thought he was stuck in the friends zone, at the time he didn’t think that one night could ruin so much more to come, sort of like the butterfly effect.
He couldn’t focus, he couldn’t think, his eyes now fixated on the blurred outline of Jayda’s back. His mouth had seemed to rid itself of saliva. He wanted to get up and just walk, with no planned destination, to exercise the demons that were causing havoc in his head, but his legs were paralyzed. His palms started to sweat as he clenched them tightly together as if he were in prayer.
There was so much he could have said to Jayda right there but all he managed to spit out was “What?”.
“I never wanted you to find out like this… I…”. Jayda mumbled as she turned to confront face on and try to repair the damage she had just orchestrated. She had no idea of what she was going to say. She regretted the decision she’d made when having the abortion and tortured herself for weeks after. That nauseous feeling she’d had when she’d done it had returned. “I couldn’t tell you, you wouldn’t have let me…,” her eyes now burning from the salt waterfall coming from her eyes. She used the breaks between sentences to wipe away the mess exiting her nose and to breathe in an attempt to relax. “Erica was having your baby!… I wasn’t about to become babymother number two… I wasn’t down to ruin my life for-.”
“Typical!”, Ayden sarcastically let out a small laugh, “Everything’s about you init! Did you make that baby on your own? How the fuck can you justify getting rid of my child without telling me?… You’re no better than the rest! You looked me in my face knowing I possibly had two children on the way and you told me nothing!”.
“Ayden be real! You reckon you could maintain two babies? You think this shit situation was practical? You wanted me to share you, tell my child that Erica’s offspring is their sister? Wake the fuck up! I done the best thing by us!”.
“Nah! You done the best thing by YOU! The decision was not only yours to make! I can’t believe this, it can’t be true… I thought I knew you… You made me feel so guilty and you was hiding this FUCKERY from me-“, he paused as he tried to control the emotions that were trying to bubble to the surface. He wanted to construct another sentence but the only words circling his mind were not PG. Where did this leave him and Jayda, he was unsure if he even wanted to get back with her anymore, she’d lied to him, not once, but twice. He didn’t know the bitch that stood before him and deprived him of his dream. He knew that Erica and Neveah weren’t convenient but if Jayda had had his child he felt as though he could have had the chance to make things right, prove that he wasn’t a statistic and have the future he wanted.
“I’ve been your fool!”.
“Don’t turn this on me! Did I breed Erica? That’s all this boils down to. I didn’t try to hurt you, I tried to make sure I didn’t make this worse-“.
“How is this not worse?!”.
“You’re not thinking straight. Life isn’t a game, there’s money, bills, rent, responsibilities-“.
“Nah you haven’t been thinking straight at all! Yeah life is not a game, you can’t just toy with man’s emotions and think it’s gunna be blessed! You don’t go round aborting our baby without informing me! OUR BABY! DOES THAT MEAN NOTHING TO YOU? OUR!.. You know what, I’ve had enough.”. Ayden got up from the doorstep he had clumsily dropped on, he used his hand and dragged it across his face as though he was wiping water away. He had no intentions of returning back to Erica’s, he looked straight through Jayda as if she wasn’t there and made a start in the direction of the car park.
“Ayden, wait!”, the tables had turned and now Jayda was craving Ayden’s attention but he carried on walking without looking back as though she was shouting the wrong name. She stared at the back of him as he walked into the distance. She didn’t know what to expect when Erica had invited her around but it definitely was not this outcome. She’d convinced herself that Ayden’s wrongs had cancelled hers out but the altercation she’d just had had woken her up. She’d never seen him hurt like this and it was because of her.