At this age I do not judge single mothers and fathers. We are discovering that there is such a thing as “the honeymoon period” and after it passes nothing is guaranteed, this is when the real arguments and confrontations arise. In all honesty I think that a child shouldn’t be born until the “honeymoon period” is over and you really truly understand your partner and their ways. Honeymoon period can last between the first 3 months or the first 3 years, there’s no predicting when it will end but I do understand that shit happens. Mistakes occur or the idea of being in love can distort your thinking process and cause some unintelligible decisions.
I would think that after a break up with the mother/father of your child, the situation would make you take a step back and focus on yourself and your child for a while. I haven’t had a child and I haven’t been through a break-up involving a child so I can only offer my thoughts. I presume that it’s easier for males to move on because usually the female is left to look after her child/ren with the male getting visits or a smaller percentage of the week to have their child/ren.
But how do you move on? I myself have admitted that if I met a guy who told me he had a child or children, I wouldn’t pursue him. It may seem unfair and harsh but I have chosen not to have children yet for a reason. Also I don’t want any baby mother drama and by that I don’t mean an ex who wants to have a war for her baby’s father, but the awkwardness of having to meet her before the child as I can only assume she’d want to know the woman who is about to be introduced to her child. Also the pressure of the relationship, I wouldn’t want to meet his child unless we knew that we were absolutely serious and I would be a stable person in that child’s life, meaning that once I meet that child I’d feel pressure to make sure that our relationship worked. And what about when I’m ready to have my own, I don’t plan for my children to have half sisters & brothers, but that’s me. I don’t expect everyone to be the same as me. As of right now I steer away from things which may knock me off of my path to my future how I picture it.
I am young and I think that has a major influence on my views. Life doesn’t always go how you plan it but at this age I feel as though I still have the opportunity to mould my future. I don’t think single mothers or fathers of my age should feel knocked back or upset by some people’s views when it comes to dating them. With age comes maturity. In my opinion I don’t think their as bothered about other people’s dating views as those with no children that detest it. Their main focus is on their children rather than who they are going to date next. Unless they depend on the love of someone else..
I do know females that have had children at a young age and neglect them in order to pursue the love of a man as though their child does not love them unconditionally in a way no other will. I know women who have children of my age to 7 year olds but have selfishly tried to take their life because a man they were seeing left them. I know men that will introduce their young impressionable children to every girl he’s checking as if it’s acceptable. We are all different.
Each and every one to their own. I don’t think it’s unfair to choose who you want to date. Your life is about your choices. No-one can dictate to you as you have to live with the consequences. I don’t think that another persons choices should affect you either. If someone chooses not to date you and you know it’s their loss than you can hold your head up high, respect their decision and keep it moving.