I have had this debate so many times and over the years my views on the subject have shifted. Can you have sex without any emotional ties? And does the answer vary depending on your gender?
Yes! I believe it is possible to have sex and detach the emotions that come with it. The meaning of sex is different to each individual. For those that use their genitals as a bargaining tool or for those that view sex as just another extra curricular activity like smoking or drinking, emotions are void. One night stands, drunken mistakes or just feeling horny can be included in this category. Even regarding this I don’t think it cancels out the capability of ever feeling emotions towards someone which you have sexual relations with. It is all about your mind state when entering the situation, you can shut down your emotional senses in the same way that you can heighten them just by thought.
A person who is used to not having emotions may automatically believe they will forever be in control of the situation and be that way for as long as they can. I think the problems derive when they begin to routinely have sex with any one/multiple persons. It is hard to prevent feeling something which becomes personally and intensely intimate. F*ck buddies or friends with benefits are a prime example of those that choose to not be emotionally involved but I have to query, after a certain amount of times of having sex surely you must feel something, not even necessarily that you like the person but jealousy when seeing them talk or flirt with someone else. I tend to see females admit their feelings first but I think this is because of male pride and ego. It is typically stereotyped that a man will move from girl to girl, hurting them and not caring, so for this reason it’s hard for them to tell anyone that they actually liked any of those girls. There are also culprits who use sex to try and ignite emotional feeling from the person they are doing it with. This is the worst as the method could easily backfire, the more you do it the more you could fall for that person without the feelings being mutual.
It is thought that men are more prone to have sex and feel no way after. I used to genuinely believe this. I even listened to a couple male friends’ theories as to why this was true, ‘because a female has to let a man inside of her, she has to open up in order to let him in so she can’t prevent having feelings for him whereas he just pokes’. Another theory I heard which more so referred to cheating, but I don’t care because I actually love it, and I use it all the time as it was the findings of a scientific study, ‘men are more prone to cheat because they are less intelligent than females meaning that they find difficulty in resisting sex’ *cheeky smile and wink*. I think that times have changed and each genders views have changed in relation to sex. Females are now ok with requesting casual sex and this makes me unsure of whether it’s easier for women to catch feelings before men. It could be argued that promiscuous girls are an example of females who don’t need to be emotionally involved, but when looking into their history and psychological state you may find that they are the way they are because they’re longing for love and attention, seeking it in the wrong way, feeling as though they are wanted when being requested to have sex.
“women are more emotional it’s more natural for them to tie emotion to sex”
“Oxytocin is a powerful hormone released by men and women during orgasm. It probably deepens the feelings of attachment and makes couples feel much closer to one another after they have had sex. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes.” So does this mean that good sex will result in some kind of emotional attachment?
I’m going to leave this open to debate because in all honesty I don’t know. You’re welcome to leave your personal views in my comments and I will respond, let’s discuss. Does emotional attachment in sex depend on gender?