Daggering Without Any Nonsense

I have had this debate so many times and over the years my views on the subject have shifted. Can you have sex without any emotional ties? And does the answer vary depending on your gender?

Yes! I believe it is possible to have sex and detach the emotions that come with it. The meaning of sex is different to each individual. For those that use their genitals as a bargaining tool or for those that view sex as just another extra curricular activity like smoking or drinking, emotions are void. One night stands, drunken mistakes or just feeling horny can be included in this category. Even regarding this I don’t think it cancels out the capability of ever feeling emotions towards someone which you have sexual relations with. It is all about your mind state when entering the situation, you can shut down your emotional senses in the same way that you can heighten them just by thought.

A person who is used to not having emotions may automatically believe they will forever be in control of the situation and be that way for as long as they can. I think the problems derive when they begin to routinely have sex with any one/multiple persons. It is hard to prevent feeling something which becomes personally and intensely intimate. F*ck buddies or friends with benefits are a prime example of those that choose to not be emotionally involved but I have to query, after a certain amount of times of having sex surely you must feel something, not even necessarily that you like the person but jealousy when seeing them talk or flirt with someone else. I tend to see females admit their feelings first but I think this is because of male pride and ego. It is typically stereotyped that a man will move from girl to girl, hurting them and not caring, so for this reason it’s hard for them to tell anyone that they actually liked any of those girls. There are also culprits who use sex to try and ignite emotional feeling from the person they are doing it with. This is the worst as the method could easily backfire, the more you do it the more you could fall for that person without the feelings being mutual.

It is thought that men are more prone to have sex and feel no way after. I used to genuinely believe this. I even listened to a couple male friends’ theories as to why this was true, ‘because a female has to let a man inside of her, she has to open up in order to let him in so she can’t prevent having feelings for him whereas he just pokes’. Another theory I heard which more so referred to cheating, but I don’t care because I actually love it, and I use it all the time as it was the findings of a scientific study, ‘men are more prone to cheat because they are less intelligent than females meaning that they find difficulty in resisting sex’ *cheeky smile and wink*. I think that times have changed and each genders views have changed in relation to sex. Females are now ok with requesting casual sex and this makes me unsure of whether it’s easier for women to catch feelings before men. It could be argued that promiscuous girls are an example of females who don’t need to be emotionally involved, but when looking into their history and psychological state you may find that they are the way they are because they’re longing for love and attention, seeking it in the wrong way, feeling as though they are wanted when being requested to have sex.

“women are more emotional it’s more natural for them to tie emotion to sex”

“Oxytocin is a powerful hormone released by men and women during orgasm. It probably deepens the feelings of attachment and makes couples feel much closer to one another after they have had sex. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes.” So does this mean that good sex will result in some kind of emotional attachment?

I’m going to leave this open to debate because in all honesty I don’t know. You’re welcome to leave your personal views in my comments and I will respond, let’s discuss. Does emotional attachment in sex depend on gender?

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12 thoughts on “Daggering Without Any Nonsense

  1. Sophie-Louise Kirk says:

    I think it is definitely possible to have sex without emotions, in the beginning. However when you start to continuously do this with the same person it is hard not to start having feelings for that person. I think that this is true for both men and women. Men say that women become too attached but at the end of the day we are all human, and we all have emotions and I believe that sexual attraction is an emotion. The fullfillment of sex is not one that is long lasting. I think that everyone wants to know the person they are having sex with actually likes them. And at the end of the day if your having sex with the same person you find you start to become extremely comfortable around them which will make you want to spend more time with this person. And ultimately make you have feeling for them. Just my opinion lol

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    • mslissa23 says:

      I love it Soph!!!!! And i think that a lot of people let their pride over ride their emotions and try to hide them and deny them rather than admit, more so the guys.. Love your analysation!

      Like

  2. Black Supahero says:

    Firstly the title is misleading (I thought it’s about daggering as in the dance) and the quote about men being less intelligent to say no… That’s void cos most times it’s men who seek the sex and is up to the woman to say no. So realistically if a man get it thrown at him, he automatically thinks he’s hits the jackpot.

    As for the main topic, it is possible I wud say, but like you say, eventually somebody will fall. It’s just human nature to be accustomed to anything that you are used to getting regularly.

    And the reason men are less likely to be the one fallin is because we are naturally the prey, and will forever be seeking more. But that does not mean it’s right.

    Lastly girls who stoop down to the level of men appall me. Like the quote says, women are moe intelligent so I would expect better of them. I know it’s hypocritical but yh that’s how I genuinely feel.

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    • mslissa23 says:

      Lol but if u know what daggering the dance represents its not misleading.. Don’t shoot the messenger, the quote about women being more intelligent was a scientific study.. Fair enough men will forever want more but the question is does that prevent their emotions when having sex.. I don’t believe a man having sex with another
      woman is proof that he has no emotions or feelings for her..

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  3. Dap Dezine says:

    PERSONALLY, I think it’s more to do with the individual and their experiences. BUT I think women are always going to be more likely to express feelings first, because women are more in touch with their emotions then men are. Men on the other hand may feel something, but to be a MAN is not to embrace your emotions unless its the right situation to. Call it… pride, ego, stupidity doesn’t matter, when in a situation of casually having sex with someone “No Strings Attached” as a man, you are not going to entertain the idea of feeling a way (e.g. the women seeing other guys), unless you truly cannot hold it in any longer. Women on the other hand don’t feel a way to embrace their emotions, and even when they try not to, its going against their human nature. (Not to say they cant, i know some cold bitches.)

    To say gender doesn’t have a part to play in this would be a lie, because MEN AND WOMEN are too different for it not to play effect, society raises us different, our roles in life are different, are expectancies are different, we’re not even raised the same, and lets not even talk about what goes on inside our heads (and bodies). (Even our human nature differs.)

    Plus i Agree with Black Supahero, i was not expecting to read this from the title…lol still a good read though.

    DapDezine.

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    • mslissa23 says:

      I like your take on it but I do want to draw attention to the part where you said society raises us, but society has changed and females are now starting to try and take on the male role, does this mean their human nature will not allow it? Are females never going to be able to downplay their emotions because I slyly think they’re learning to, not all, but some..

      Looool @ the comment about the title.. Next time I’ll keep it straight forward..

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      • Dap Dezine says:

        No, no, no society has not changed what its teaching us, what has changed is your perception on it, to girls who are around 13/14 everything is still the same (mostly) as when you were 13/14 . Its as you get older you start to develop your own way on taking on what society is telling you. (e.g. most gays finally admit it publicly at the ages we are now.) Girls are starting to act more like mandem because we’re older and by at least 21 most girls have met the harsh reality of life, which is your emotions don’t mean shit when the person you feel for isn’t reciprocating the same feelings.

        Some people find it easy to go against human nature, some people struggle, there are females that can downplay their emotion, but this isn’t new, its just a process in life. The girls who can usually do it the best are the ones who’ve been fucked over from early.

        i’m pro everybody getting what they want (male or female), just incase this is read wrongly.

        P.s. do i have to keep checkin the page to know you responded, aint there like a facebook noise or something! lol

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      • mslissa23 says:

        Lol you can subscribe to the comments alone..

        You’re right, our ideas about sex and sexuality become firm once we mature and experience certain things but even at our age, many years ago this behavior wouldn’t have been tolerated.. I watch things like Geordie and jersey shore where they promote casual promiscuity.. That’s what we are teaching our society, those programs are as popular with us young adults as they are with teens.. I think no matter what age, the views on sex have changed.. You have videos of people like OGniki proud of sexing 6 man at once and she hasn’t even reached 18 yet.. I think society is now more relaxed or lenient to casual sex..

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