I personally would not indulge in approaching a guy first and letting my feelings and intent be known but in order to discuss this properly I need to look at both view points.
Approaching a guy first
I have realised that guys like when a female approaches them as it shows she has a strong sense of confidence and consider it to be rather attractive or sexy. With many females now clocking onto this they may use it to their advantage and realise that it gives them an upper hand. Also men may feel as though they have more control, even if they are not making the first move, they are in the position to entertain or reject it whereas they are normally used to being the person most vulnerable in the situation. A female may feel that she knows what she wants and therefore will go out and get it as she is not willing to wait, it could also be a way to lay her intent on the table so that nobody involved is falsely led on. Guys may also see a female who approaches them as an ‘easier task’, rather than having to work for a female and put in the work, he would rather appreciate if he could stay in his comfort zone and not do anything. Guys feel that females are somewhat guilty of leading them on with no guarantee of a relationship and therefore this makes them reluctant to approaching girls.
Males should approach females
A lot of females may still believe in old fashioned ideas such as the gentleman pulling out all the stops to get a woman. This does not reflect on her confidence. Some females may appreciate a male approaching them in regards to the fact that they are putting themselves in a vulnerable position. The idea of men being superior to women is often debated and stereotypically women are thought to be the weaker sex but in this particular situation I think some women embrace the feeling of having control of which way it is headed. Some females may feel as though if they were to approach a guy they wouldn’t be taken as seriously in terms of wanting a relationship and may just be seen as a ‘booty call’. A guy could be scared off as he may feel that it is too full on and maybe desperate, it could cause him to become a bit weary of her real intentions and as to why she would feel the need to approach a guy. I say this because yes a girl may just want to cut out the wait and just be a go getter but it is known that females have the upper hand even when a male is approaching them, all they have to do is smile or get eye contact with the guy they desire, if he doesn’t pursue her after then she knows he is not interested.
I personally think ‘the chase’ is a major part of forming a relationship, it’s like foreplay you can’t skip it. It builds up the interest, sexual tension and teaches you a lot about the other person. You can see how much a person actually likes you, or how serious they are about you, by their willingness to stick around and get to know you without forcefully demanding or giving an ultimatum. The chase cannot exist if a female makes the initial first move as males would not entertain it and are more straight forward than females.
A few opinions from some of my tweeters
” a girl putting it on me .. Hmm .. Tbh il give her the time of the day but il be weary and suspicious.”
“lol .. Not gunna lie .. Its happened to me in the past n i liked it bcos it made life easy for me in regards to the chase”
“loool what’s wrong wid dat lool, females propose to guys these days lol”
“this is interesting. The chase is quite annoying sometimes though, you lot (females) can make it stressful with your mixed signals.”
“but some of you (females) do it just to see how long he’ll chase you for, like it’s a measure of how serious he is.”
“the Chase is long and time consuming lol”
“it depends on why I’m talking to da girl in da first place. If I ain’t tryna wife it da Chase just longs shit out”
“I wud give her a chance to speak #Different”
“@MsLissaShanee it depends how she did it. If she js threw herself den she can talk to the hand but if she was js cool about it….”