Women & Independence

*starts singing* All my ladies who independent throw ur hands up with me. No bitch, put your hand down, all the way down. Don’t be looking behind you like I can’t be referring to you, if you brag about ‘bupsing’ men put your hand down, if you are willing to use your female assets in order to reach the top put your hand down, if you find it hard to live without a man (dependancy or desperation is not attractive girls) put your hand all the way down please and thank you.

A lot of females have been led to believe that their independence relates to how much money they earn or have, wrong. When I hear someone refer to themselves as being independent I believe that they are reliant on no-one but themselves in all aspects of their life, not to say that they are never supported or refuse to accept the support but if they had to do everything on their own they would be highly capable. There seems to be a high sense of confusion among my species as to what can be considered. A lot of females are now adopting the idea of using their body in order to get what they want, not necessarily resulting in sex but it is not too far off. Society is now more accepting of the ideology that sex sells and therefore I think females have become more lenient in using their bodies as a way of getting what they want, but no matter to which extent you are willing to go it is still the same strategy and what stops it from being the same strategy of a prostitute *shrugs* ‘sex sells’. The only difference is that it is not always money that the culprits are requesting, well actually maybe it is, you hear of females bragging of getting money from a guy who is easily dispensable to her, getting her dream job because she used her managers crush to her advantage and led him to believe something would happen between them, she got a car from her ex who she no longer is interested in but keeps him around to cater to her. Are these not all money orientated, whether in a material form or even occupational form. This cannot be seen as independence, specifically referring to those that use their assets for occupational advantages, your success, even long after your actions used to get there, becomes void. You cheated to get there.

This doesn’t mean that every gift a woman is given she must reject if she is truly independent. There is nothing wrong with accepting something which you haven’t gotten yourself, that would be silly but it does depend on the nature of which you are receiving your gift or what you have done to get it. There is a difference between getting a surprise and planning a strategic way to get someone to give you something in return for your company or use of assets.

Also, females, being a single mother does not automatically put you in the independence bracket. Being a single parent cannot be confused for independence, it is not a marital status but more a state of mind which is visible by ur behaviour. This is not to offend anyone because in all honesty I would love to tell you that I am independent and solely responsible for paying for everything and doing everything on my own but I am not, it’s what I am working towards and therefore I will proudly say I am not there yet. I do not own my own house, I am not earning a salary which I can live off, I am not paying for my student fees, etc, these are ideas of ‘MY’ independence. If you are getting benefits for anything other than child tax credits than I personally do not see that as independence. I am still young, independence is near but I refuse to place myself in that bracket until it is absolute truth.

I never want to walk/drive down a road and a man can claim that everything that I’m sporting is something which he bought or got for me, if you are independent you wouldn’t feel the need to scream it 24/7, you are what you are, the end. There is nothing wrong with your cause or talent (reason for earning) becoming more relevant because of another, e.g, Michelle Obama but there is a big difference off of simply rising off of somebody else’s name and milking it for what it’s worth, e.g, Kat Stacks. We are in a new day and age, men can say what the hell they want to say but we are not confined to the kitchen and to be seen but not heard. We complain that men don’t treat us as equals and then cheat our way to the top to prove exactly that, how are they meant to see us as anything more than sex symbols if that is all we offer even in an office environment. Can we not become successful off of our own backs? Can we all learn the true meaning and work towards it please.

3 thoughts on “Women & Independence

  1. Black Supahero says:

    Yh the independence debate is a very blurry line. I don’t condone e use of one’s asset as a way to the top but I can understand it sometimes… Cos it’s the only thing the individual might know, which don’t necessarily make it wrong I suppose.

    But yh I think when most people claim independence, they arent speakin of it UNIVERSALLY. They speak more in terms of certain aspect… Eg, I can claim independence as I no longer live in my parent’s home but truth is I’m still dependent on them as I still go around there to eat some nicely cooked food at times.

    Universal independence is almost impossible I suppose, cos that will just mean you are a LONER.

    nice post. 🙂


    • mslissa23 says:

      Hmm I think you can be universally independent but still accept support from others. You don’t necessarily have to be a loner to be independent but if you were to hypothetically think about whether you could cope without any ones support or help and you believe you would be fine then you can be considered independent.


  2. MinxXx says:

    Going back home for food cos you enjoy it doesn’t make you any less independent, it just means you like your mums food.

    Independence is having the means to do things for yourself. You don’t necessarily have to but you could if you had to. It doesn’t mean being alone too. A married woman could be independent as long as she is not totally reliant on her husband.

    Accepting help or support doesn’t mean you’re not independent. Everyone needs help sometimes. You don’t have to do every single thing for yourself to be independent. No one is superman.


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