I recently had a discussion with a group of friends regarding interracial relationships. At first I mistook their disgust as ignorance. I personally see nothing wrong with interracial couples and jumped to their defence. Everyone has preferences and I feel as though I am in no place to pass judgement but as the conversation continued I realised that I had misunderstood and what they were saying made some sort of sense.
Their problem was not with those that date races different from their own but those that specifically rule out their own race and seek others. I am a person who holds no preference and although I have never dated any guys who are not black I would never rule out any other race. I find men attractive, if a guy is a attractive he is attractive regardless of his race. Those that rule out their own race do confuse me only because I think it is a disregard as to their heritage and where they are coming from. By this I mean do they not find members of their family beautiful or handsome? Are their mum, sister, bro, dad ugly? Further more what do they think when they look in the mirror, do they resent the colour of their skin?
I’ve experienced this discrimination from someone of the same race. A guy who had darker skin than mine commented on my skin and said that I was too dark. I was confused and offended, how could I be lighter than him and yet too dark for him. Did he think his skin colour was too dark also, even if he was to date someone who’s skin was fare there would still be a chance that his child/ren could be as “dark” as me, would he then tell them that they are too dark. I couldn’t help but think he has underlying issues. I have also been told, by black and white males, that I am pretty for a black girl. I never used to know how to take this comment or what to say and I used to just smile and change the subject but now I realise that there is in no way that that comment can be mistaken for a compliment, it is offensive. Are black girls normally ugly? Am I only pretty because I am black, am I not pretty full stop?
It is a hard topic to discuss because as I said before people have preferences and for that reason it’s difficult to pass judgement on people’s dating habits but I do understand why people think it strange to rule out your own race.
Yesterday I retweeted one of the most ridiculous tweets I had seen in a while and I feel that it relates to this topic. ” RT @iLike_BlackGuys: BLACK GIRLS WILL ALWAYS BE JEALOUS OF US WHITE GIRLS! YES WE’RE TAKING UR MEN, GET OVER IT!” This statement shows a tormented girl with serious issues. It leaves me speechless. This is why there is such a clear divide in the acceptance of interracial dating because the minority overstep the mark and make it a racial battle. Are we not past the whole “white women taking our black men” or vice versa. What is the relevance of this female liking black men I do not understand.
We talk about racism dying down but in all honesty it will always exist due to people’s ignorance and reluctance to really learn their history and culture and appreciate the colour of their skin and variations and why they are that way. Mixed raced children are a step forward in showing that different races are now integrating but those like the female above will confuse her future children with her stupid opinions and create an inherited ignorant view which will be passed onto her children who will then pass it on to their children etc. It doesn’t help when you have people bleaching to avoid being dark and so on. I think I’ve slightly gone off topic here lol but you know what I’m trying to say.
Feel free to comment and add your views as I’ve stated before I am not here to judge but I am here to try and understand and if you feel as though you can explain it in a way I could understand then go ahead. Thank you for reading.