Des-per-a-tion! It’s not a good look. The problem with desperation is that when you become it you ooze it. I do not care what anyone says or whoever wants to argue with me (you’re welcome to try) you cannot hide desperation, it blatantly and visibly determines your decisions and actions. There is a clear difference between wanting or desiring something with such passion in comparison to feeling as though you need something so bad that you are willing to drop all or most standards which you have previously upheld or know to be right. It upsets me as I am seeing people around me alter their behaviours towards others or make choices which they know will have a negative effect on them all because they are in fear of losing something/someone.
In all honesty, the situations which inspired me to write this post relate to relationships or lack of.
Stand-ards! I don’t consider myself to be vein or special in regards to anyone else but I like to believe that I have standards. The standards by which I set are in regards to what I feel I deserve or how I think that others should perceive me. If I respect myself, I only want those around me who respect me also. If I love myself, then likewise, I only want those that love me around me. It is not a hard concept to grasp, so at which point is it OK to lower my standards? At which point is it OK to say ‘I deserve less than I thought I did’? What or who can make me feel less of myself than I previously did and if that is the case how can I consider that situation/relationship good, healthy or beneficial to me. I automatically put my guard up when I hear that someone thinks less of me then I do myself in terms of my intelligence or personality. Call it stuck up if you will but I will not allow someone else’s negativity determine who I am, hell to the no! In this world people do not approach one another and tell them what they think of each other, it’s not that easy, but I can tell what a person thinks of me or how high their opinion is of me by the way they treat me or talk to me. There is no excuse to being blind sighted when it comes to what people think of you and if you are willing to become less in order to fit someone’s perception of you, you are weak in my eyes. Desperation.
In-tell-i-gence! I’m sorry I’m having to spell everything out but I feel like those that suffer from this disease are in a world of pretense and like to go on as though they are not what they are. How is it that desperation makes people lose brain cells? You’ve always known the difference between right and wrong but suddenly you become dumb founded. You become willing to endure suffering for desperation. The thing with being desperate is that you lose all sight of everything else except what you are chasing, you are willing to accept anything for which you can pass off as what you were chasing even if it is nowhere near. An example would be females who trap males by having their children. They do so because maybe they are chasing the dream of a family or the love of the male but in reality having a child cannot guarantee any of these two things happening. Another example would be a female who is seeking love in all the wrong places, she is very aware of the males she keeps attracting who always lie to her and she ends up finding out she is always the girl on the side. After the first time this occurs any normal person would put their guard up and question everything just to avoid being in that situation again but she forces herself to believe the lies in order to have that false sense of love she has been searching for.
Time! Time is a major factor, as I believe in most cases, it is what drives people to desperation. Running out of time. No patience. Not taking the time out to get to know yourself because trust me, once you know yourself no-one can alter your view. No-one could ever tell you about your best friend because you feel that you know them in and out, no-one could make you think any less of them because you know your friendship is strong and this is how your relationship should be with yourself. Time to really figure out what someone perceives and thinks of you because, don’t get me wrong, there are some pretty good actors out there. It’s never too late to do anything, there’s no need to rush it, if you’re not ready you’re not ready.
Forgive me for any grammar mistakes, blah blah blah, I’ve been away for a very long time, neglected you all an for that I apologize. I hope that I have not disappointed you all with this post. As per usual I’m open to discussion, you can leave a comment if you wish or find me by another means. I just want to make your minds tick and I hope I have done so. Thank you for reading and sorry for the wait.