Can men be single?

This post is my take on the male species and their attitudes towards being without a partner.  When initially asking myself the question ‘can men be single?’ I immediately thought ‘duh’, it is generally thought that women are the ones who seek love and company; men are able to dart around without feeling the need for any emotional attachment.  I then began to analyse the men who have been or are around me at present, whether family, friends or love interests.  I managed to change my own initial perceptual view of the topic in question.

I do believe that men are more able to separate emotional attachment from sex but I think this has little to no reference when considering a male being able to not be in a relationship.  My reasoning being that a man can cheat, when in a relationship, with someone who he has no feelings for, not a dig or stereotype guys just generally speaking, it does not mean that because he indulges in such sexual encounters that he would not want to be in a committed relationship.

Before delving any further into this topic I want to emphasize that the opinions which I have placed in this post are not true to every man, there are males out there who are more than capable of going through lengthy periods of time without the desire of wanting a girlfriend.  I do not want to offend any males out there who place their focus elsewhere rather than the company of a woman or the ‘taken’ status.  Saying this, of all the guys I thought about when thinking about this topic, those who had been single the longest were the ones who would openly admit they miss and want the company of a female and I think that desire is heightened when their friends are all in relationships.  You have to consider the different type of males and their situations to thoroughly understand the emphasis placed on not being single. 

The ‘token’ single

This is the one guy out of all of his friends who is still single.  His desire for a relationship is strengthened when all he sees are couples surrounding him.  Any social event or gathering he is aware that all of his friends attend with their partners in tow which makes him feel like the outcast to an extent. He may feel as though his importance has decreased as the time which he used to spend with ‘his boys’ is now dedicated to their other halves leaving less time for him and more time on his lonesome resulting in him wanting someone to share his company with and keep him occupied when everybody else is busy.  There will always be those who are exempt and in this case there are the token single males, who have chosen to and used their occupation to busy them rather than a female.

The ‘can’t keep a woman’ single

This is the guy which has struggled to stay in a relationship for a long time.  When first entering the relationship he is hopeful that it will last and exceed the test of time but it only manages to work for a matter of months before it breaks down.  He cannot work out what it is that causes each relationship to deteriorate but rather than focus on that he then places his energy into finding a new woman to try and start afresh.  In this case I don’t think that the desire is for female company but rather to prove to himself that he can make a relationship work and that the fault is not on his behalf but the women he was with previous to his current or potential love interest.  His attitude towards being single is determined by his pride.

The ‘fresh from a serious relationship break up’ single

This is the man that is searching for a rebound.  He has just come out of a long term relationship and is not yet quite over it.  After so many years of being with one person he looks for any type of attention which can then be converted into a relationship to fill the void the individual has left behind.  He will rush into something new so that he is not alone meaning that he doesn’t pay as much attention to the new female he is seeking but more just the feeling of not being alone.  His attitude towards being single is determined by comfort and consistency.

The ‘I never chose to be single’ single

This male is not single by choice.  He tries to gain a female companion but is always unsuccessful.  This could be due to a lack of game, a constant territorial battle within the friend zone, etc.  He is forever on the prowl for a girlfriend but may claim that he is single because he does not want any stress or just doesn’t want to be with anyone despite contradictive evidence, does not indulge in casual sexual relations as he wants more. 

As I’ve stated before these examples arose when I began analyzing the males around me, they do not represent every single man out there but I feel as though, you as the reader would be able to relate in some way or another to at least one or more guys that you know.  Of course men can be single, anyone can be single but I think that men find it harder to be and stay single; this is due to my belief of only the minority choosing to be single.  A lot of the males I talk to have been backed into a corner or did not have so much as a say in the matter.  If they could change their current situation in terms of their relationship status I believe that they would.  This may also partly explain why people believe that males are more prone to cheat; even in circumstances where they desire casual sex they still want the company of that one woman who they can commit to.  They refuse to let their relationship go in fear of being single and having to start from square one, the promise of casual sex is not one which is long term.

It can be argued that there are those who choose to be single and be wild, different sexual partners all the time, no promise of any commitment but I feel that this can only last for a short period of time.  You can only enjoy the fruits of sex without the emotional ties for so long without it starting to feel like a chore or a routine.

This post is a lengthy read, I know, I appreciate you taking the time out to read it.  I haven’t posted for a very long time so forgive me, I’m rusty. 

Ms Liss 

One thought on “Can men be single?

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