Entrapment

I’m a person who is forever seeking my own interpretation and sense of freedom. Singledom has just begun my journey in that direction, having to only answer to myself, acting on impulse without worrying about anyone else and how they feel and focusing on numero uno. I couldn’t imagine being trapped for a lifetime.Image

Do not mistake my reference of being trapped for a lifetime as a connection to being in a relationship. I definitely do not detest the idea of settling down with that special someone, in fact it is something which I envision for my future after I explore my freedom, find myself and I am ready. This topic has arisen due to an analysis of the amount of people who are willing to make sacrifices or, worse still, force others into making sacrifices in order to trap them.

Just recently I met a young guy who I got a long with, maybe if he was a couple years older I would’ve entertained him. Now I don’t want to come across as an ageist and yes he did use that outdated line ‘age ain’t nothing but a number’ (which is a lie, age is a word) but it would be hard for me to consider somebody younger than me as a potential partner. The whole connection between age and maturity, although I know that a lot of times this theory does not apply, is one I find hard to ignore. Any who back to the topic, because he knew I was older he added a couple years onto his age. I sussed him out within a matter of time and his response was to tell me that females like me are the reason that guys have to resort to lying about their age so that they have a chance. I couldn’t help but think that if I were to have fallen for his lie, deemed it acceptable and then entered a relationship on false pretences I would have been TRAPPED by the time I’d have found out. Entrapment via lies seems to be a lot of guys and dolls methods, they fail to realise that using fabrications in order to gain someone’s attention and affection could have devastating consequences. This is actually quite a subtle example I’ve heard of men denying their children (absolutely disgusting), lying about material belongings, lying about their occupation, etc.

I’m sure you are all waiting for me to address the most referred to form of entrapment, pregnancy. I want to let it be known that this isn’t going to solely be a dig at females as males are guilty too, whether or not they are capable of carrying a child for nine months. This form of trapping makes my blood boil because I don’t think it is in any way fair to use a life of another to get what you desire, especially when that life has no choice in the matter. That level of desperation is embarrassing not to mention that more times it will backfire. Many a time I have seen a female realise that she is losing the man that she loves or even just a good man whether she loves him or not, out of desperation she then tries everything in her power to inseminate her love interests soldier’s into her military base. The problem is that after the child is born the reaction she expects fails to exist. He doesn’t want to be with her. He doesn’t love her. He dislikes her for backing him into a corner and forcing his hand. He only wants to be present for his child. In turn she then ends up resenting her child as her sole reason for giving birth refuses to conform to her vision of the future meaning it was all in vain.

Now, how can a man trap a woman via pregnancy? Trust me it is more than possible. I’ve witnessed guys who do not want to commit to a female at that given moment in time but they do not wish to lose her to someone else, so what’s the next best thing? Impregnate her so she’s stuck with you for life, not to mention that she may even struggle to find a man willing to accept her baggage which belongs to another man. There are also guys that are afraid that they will never be able to find a woman better than their current love interest and insecurities will lead them to believe that the woman in question will soon realise it too. They seek a lifetime attachment that will prevent their love interest from being able to walk away if and when they realise and what is better than being the father of their child.

I hope nobody mistakes this post as me giving them ideas or plans, entrapment can only lead to ill feelings. Being forced to do something or it happening under false pretences is not something which can be taken lightly. It is a fighting offence. Writing this right now I just remembered the story of the teenage girl who posed as a teenage guy to lure two girls into a relationship with her. Imagine being in a relationship with someone and finding out they are not who you thought they are. Entrapment is the method you use to ruin ones life and I do not believe that I am exaggerating in any way. Watching guys attempting to make an incompatible relationship work for a child is upsetting. Watching a woman resent her child is heart breaking. Watching a woman find out that a man she has been in a relationship with, for many months, has children that he managed to hide from her is disgusting. The one thing I ask of everyone who I view as being close to me is that they are honest, do not scheme and plot, do not lie because once found out I will never forget. I refuse to be trapped.

Thank you for reading my rant I will try to update within a few days.

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7 thoughts on “Entrapment

  1. Princess without the crown says:

    loved this! its so true people just don’t care nowadays they will do anything just for their own selfish reasons… i know of so many girls who have tried to trap their partners with thee olde pregnancy ‘trick’ its awful….but what a good read! x

    Like

  2. foluketaylor says:

    When you allow someone to choose (or not choose) you honestly and freely based on the full facts then you will know and experience love.
    Manipulation and pretence may work for a time but they are not agents of love and will ultimately only break hearts, including your own.
    Refuse to be the trapped or the trappers
    Be beautiful instead

    Like

  3. Clamato says:

    Amen, sister. From a white guy who was entrapped.

    Vulnerability is the key to intimacy. Without, you have nothing. If a woman can’t say to her man “I love you, I want to have your baby” then there is no vulnerability and hence no true intimacy. Having a rational, adult conversation about the most important decision anyone can ever make is the only way. The risk is the answer “no”….but then you know he is not the one. Or perhaps the answer is “not yet”, then the delight lies in making the relationship stronger so that both parties can truly celebrate the journey together.

    In my case, I loved the woman up until this happened. This act broke my heart and destroyed us. I ended up filing a protective order against her and 2 years later I have 50% primary custody and I’m not done yet. The relationship is over and now she has a criminal record to boot. At the end of the day my daughter deserves someone with a solid moral compass who does not think entrapping someone with a child is just and proper.

    My heart still breaks every day over this. I still have deep feelings for the mother but it is all too far gone now. This was her first child and she was alone during the pregnancy and the birthing and now faces the prospect of a life with a criminal record. The miracle of God is that even thru such a diabolical act of deceit my beautiful daughter was born. She is loved by me and her two teenage brothers.

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    • mslissa23 says:

      Thank you for sharing your story, I couldn’t agree with you more in terms of vulnerability being the key to intimacy. I’ve never really thought about it in that way. Your story is a great example of the risk these woman pose when trying to trap someone of the opposite sex using pregnancy. It’s a betrayal of someone’s trust and once trust is lost it is hard to gain it back. Cue the hurt and pain, you then associate negativity with that person its hard for your stance to change.

      Thank you for reading and I hope everything goes well for you and your daughter.

      Like

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