Single when my girlfriend isn’t present

So I’ve begun to notice a common behaviour in a lot of male friends and also males who have tried to woo me or my friends. The whole “I’m in a relationship but I’ll entertain other females in a ‘harmless’ manner”.

I don’t understand this behaviour, especially if the guy has no intentions of having any relations with any other girl besides his other half, why entertain anyone else? Let me define entertain because I’m not referring to harmless flirting in passing. Getting or giving numbers on a night out, initiating private or inappropriate conversations or even allowing females to believe that they are single. Now I know a lot of guys are screwing up their faces at their screens right now “but females do this stuff too, you can’t trust bitches”. I’m not arguing with you, the same goes for females but this post isn’t about them, it’s about your fellow male race so chill.

I’ve witnessed this behaviour first hand. I went out to celebrate a friends birthday with a group of girls and a group of guys that some of the girls knew ended up joining us later on in the night. It was a good night, I partied hard as per usual and even got to know one of the guys. Spoke to him all night, it was weird because I refused to entertain any of the other guys in the club that night. Towards the end of our celebrations he asked for my number, I had been on a half year guy strike but had finally ended it when I began to reel off my 11 digit number. We continued to talk as soon as the next day but I later found out he was in a long term relationship. I was confused, not mad, not angry but baffled. Why, when your long term girlfriend is at home, would you go on to not only flirt with a stranger but to then take her number and continue to converse with her after the initial “drunken decision night”.

I also have male friends who have asked me to hook them up with some of my female friends they find attractive although they have partners, worse still some even have babies with their partners and are still looking elsewhere.

Now when you question a lot of these guys their excuse remains to be I don’t intend to do anything with these other females I’m conversing with. *raises eyebrow* So what exactly are your intentions because I don’t see the point in beginning new relations with a stranger with no intentions behind it, not even a friendship, although we all know that is the driest excuse guys can use. Why, when you have the woman you have chosen to be with right by your side, would you recruit females to just converse with. Slightly feminine trait if you ask me. If you love your partner and see yourself being with no one else every other female should be irrelevant, except family of course.

I think my point here is why create the impression that you are single when your other half is not present because the only reason that makes sense to me is that you want to cheat. Guys detest the friendzone so it would be hard to debate and convince me that it is just to recruit a new female friend. Your other half is your female friend and any other female friends you had before you don’t need to employ any more. You need someone to talk to? For goodness sake where is your woman, I’m sure she’d rather you share with her than some any stranger, oh and let’s not forget that these strangers are all females the guy in question finds attractive -_- hmm. Ohh you just wanted to know if you still have it, the ability to spit and run game. You don’t need game at this point in time love, you already got the girl you can give it a rest now & if you really and truly have it you’ll never lose it.

I know I’m going to get a backlash from guys reading this, a lot of you may be offended. I don’t intend to offend, I want to understand.

Happy new year all x

5 thoughts on “Single when my girlfriend isn’t present

  1. Yillah says:

    ok erm… well firstly i’m not even offended, but erm i have a ‘hypothetical’ situation. let’s say when i was single, i got to make a few good female friends (not necessarily friendzone situation either), now would you say i need to ditch these friends when i find that special girl?!

    Personally, i think platonic relationships can be really healthy, although it usually works out that one party will want more, and I’m sorry to say my dear, maybe in this case that person happens to be the female (which is usually not the case)… or in any case, this guy may have been trying to have his cake and eat it… ironic that your last post happened to be about sidechick grooming too.

    But anyway, in short, i don’t agree with your view about a guy not making new female friends because he’s got a girlfriend… but then again i wouldn’t agree with my girl making new guy friends whilst with me either so i guess its the usually hypocrisy here for me.


    • mslissa23 says:

      Looool ur last sentence said it all, it’s unfair to think that you shouldn’t be able to make new friends whilst in a relationship but u wouldn’t want ur girl to do so.. Maybe I should place the emphasis on the way the friendship is founded, if u found out ur girlfriend was approaching males on a night out just to “make friends” I’m sure u would see it as innocent, u would deem it unacceptable, whereas if she met a guy through another friend, I.e, a social gathering, it may not seem so suspicious.. But then why would she need to exchange numbers and converse after meeting this person.. Where do u join the line?


      • Yillah says:

        Lol Ok ok fair point. My argument tho is that I can trust myself around other girls. But I can never trust other men around my girl. I’ve been a male since I can remember and I know what we are capable of.

        Also most of the new friends I keep are creative folks (and primarily for creative purposes) so I guess that might make a difference. I’ve noticed that as I spend time working with people, bonds strengthen, making professional/personal barriers blurry.


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