This may seem like a strange title for a post but honestly it depicts the topic perfectly. The increase in females who are on the scout for sperm donators rather than a partner and father. Women who have given up on the search for love for that moment in time but have allowed broodiness to consume them.
I remember my friend telling me about one of her work colleagues. Her work colleague’s angle was that she didn’t like men in terms of having relationships with them. She had had
bad experiences and it had driven her to steer clear from them. In fact she had discovered admiration for her own sex in replacement (lesbian by choice, I dunno, I dunno… Choosing your sexual orientation, hmm… That’s a whole other post). Although she had chosen to become lesbian to avoid those bad habits she had experienced previous, she still felt as though females could not sexually fulfil and satisfy her needs which meant that she had and has males she refers to when her “back needs scratching”. Now what happens when she is now yearning for a young child of her own, catch 22, or is it? Not when you have sexual recruits that you can try and ask a favour from. Why would any of them object to inseminating their soldiers, especially when they won’t have to be responsible for them, in fact they never have to see that child again. It’s not that easy, the guys she asked were not happy with knowing that they have a child out there who they have no hand in upbringing.
I also had a catch up session for ‘Being Mary Jane’ last night and was bothered by the storyline, basically for those who are unaware she is a 30 something, I assume, successful news anchor struggling to find love. More to the point she was caught out after stealing and storing a guy’s, who she was dating’s, sperm. Who am I to deny any woman a child, I refuse to try and play God, but these actions sound desperate.
In all honesty, in both cases, the potential sperm donators, are picked via a sexual system. I’m not saying that the guys they desire to give them their sperm do not carry great hereditary traits but the only reason they are considered is because they are someone who these females have had sexual relationships with and are sexually attracted to. Being a single mother and having to play mother and father are two different things. We hear of single mothers complaining of their struggle daily even when a male is present in their child/rens lives yet we have females aspiring to cut the father out completely without them having a choice in the matter.
Some may applaud these women, it may seem inspirational to see women who are willing to do it alone but at the same time I can’t help but think that they are doing wrong by their child /ren and the father. Society portrays men who decide to be absent in their children’s lives as a waste of space and cowardly. These sperm donation situations in particular do not allow a man to prove himself as a man, also is it fair to deprive a child of a father figure? When a child asks why don’t I have a father how would you then answer?
I don’t agree with birthing a child for the need of feeling a purpose or to gain benefits. In the case of a relationship lacking love or a lack of a relationship a child should not be used as a substitute, I view it as a selfish decision. There’s nothing to say that the child will not get all the love they deserve or live a good life but who’s to say it may not have been better if the situation was handled better.
I’ll leave it with a question for the guys. Men, if a female friend begged you to donate sperm so that they could have a child and asked that you were not present in the child’s life as a father, would you feel obliged?