I was told that this was the topic I need to write about. To vent. To release.
I’ve always detested the idea that I am anti men. Maybe because I thought that if I agree to be knighted with this title I would be viewed as a lesbian or extreme feminist. I mean, if I don’t like men what do I like?
I like me. I love me. Ain’t nothing wrong with that, right?
All men are not the same. I think it’s important I touch on this first as I don’t want anyone to feel hard done by. I know it is unfair to tar a gender with one brush. I refuse to do so because I don’t believe I am like “every other woman”. I am me. I hate when I hear phrases which make reference to being a typical woman whether it’s about being emotionally led, desperately seeking love or hormonally crazy.
I believe that not only your own experiences should shape your perception of life but also others which is why it is important to explore and question others who have not necessarily walked the same path as you, whether that be culture, religion, etc. In trying to understand my take on men you have to understand the vital role experience has played.
I’ve written before about the belief that men view success in the form of wealth. Men tend to want to show off their brand new flashy car or that £20,000 they are wearing on the wrist in the form of a rolex (some of you are cheating, I can hear your wrist ticking boo), designer clothing and the pretty trophy girl who also resembles a bag of money. I think this is the reason that for so long women have been led to believe that men mature at a slower rate than ourselves. We view their luxurious imagery as boys play and refer to their engines as boys toys. The sooner we come to realise that this is not a sign of immaturity the better off we will be in terms of understanding the opposite sex. This is simply a man’s display of what he believes to be success.
The problem is it is perceived that a woman’s view of success is based on family. Being able to hold down a husband and care for her children. Even if a woman is ambitious she is forced to try and balance her passion with her family life. In that respect women would be deemed more selfless in terms of their success. I’ve heard men say to me that I should be happy if hypothetically speaking, we were in a relationship and they earned enough money that I would not have to go to work and could play housewife. I’ve seen a lot of friends and family members that have fallen into this trap, I mean if that’s what you really truly want then nothing should stand in your way but I’ve seen women throw away their dreams. Why? Because their priority firstly lies at home, in order to make sure my husband stays I need to make him happy, if he deems it unecessary for me to work then by all means I won’t just to make sure that my family stays happy. The emphasis is not on work but the priorities we have as women, us, ourselves are put on a back burner, it no longer is about what we initially wanted.
This leads me to another point. When he decides he wants to leave. I’ve seen too many women, in their 50s, married to a man who is obviously hitting a midlife crisis and decides he wants to leave. These women crumble, they’ve built their whole lives around this man and the children she has bared for him. Put her dreams on hold for him and now feel as though they have nothing to show for it, while he reverts back and buys his brand new convertible (convert-a-fool) with his 20/30 something year old girlfriend in the passenger seat, whom low and behold, looks like a bag of money. Success. Are you seeing the pattern here. Women try to change the things which we believe are destroying our relationships whereas men tend to throw it away. This hasn’t always been the way but society has become so lenient about divorce and separation that it is becoming the norm.
As to why people think I’m anti men, because I’ve adopted the male way of thinking. Not in terms of showing off but I want finance before I can even contemplate having a family or trying to keep a man.