I’ve been avoiding love with so much aggression yet I’m beginning to realise that subconsciously I’ve been seeking it. Not necessarily being in love but the feeling of being loved.
I’ve questioned whether I love myself enough. Why am I trying to be loved?
This is not to say there is a lack of males who show interest but any woman can spark interest. I say this because there are men out there who would approach any female with a pulse, who am I to then get excited when I just happened to cross his path meaning I am one of the 20 he managed to engage with today. No one try me and tell me I’m stereotyping I have male friends who have broken down the suitability vs probability game. Go for every female as it then increases your chances of getting a response. If you restrict yourself to your preference you are giving yourself less of a chance, the less responses the less opportunity and choice. I swear to Jah I didn’t make that up.
Being by myself means I only hear myself telling me that I love me. I only trust myself to love me, in fact I only believe that I love me. Maybe that’s the problem. I do not believe anyone else loves me or will partly due to my own trust issues and faith in love. It would explain why I’m craving for my ideals to be proven wrong.
The hardest part to admit to myself is that I may be like every other female in the world who needs at least the smallest amount of reassurance to restrain my insecurities.