Relationships Are The New Cardi’s

My friends of recent have been quick to notify me of a pattern that they have seen regarding my single life. This has probably arisen in the last month and, since, has been slightly overwhelming. I’m referring to the sudden in flux of both past and present love interests. In fact I wrote this right after an ex decided to ring my phone out of the blue, which I did not pick up.

What’s the problem? Who complains about being shown interest?  

Anybody who shows intrigue when getting to know you is flattering. Someone who appears to want to gain more knowledge of you as a person. Someone who shows interest in your passions. Yes, I understand that the majority would expect me to deem these love interests arrivals as complimentary.

No! Why now? What alarm has suddenly rung off in everyone’s ear? I’ve searched for the common denominator and I am number one, but as for number two, it’s a simple one. It’s winter! I’m being deadly serious! The season at which everyone is freezing and seems it sensible to cuff a partner. This theory is well know and although is used for humorous reasons I feel that there is some truth. Here’s why;

ITS COLD. Relationships are the new cardi. Why waste money upon layers and layers of clothing when you can easily find someone to use as a bed warmer or substitute knitwear for a warm hearty hug or snuggles.

PENSIONER LIFESTYLE. Once winter comes around, especially in the UK, people become less likely to leave their houses. Who wants to rave in a mini dress and heels whilst trying to stand upright, on the frosty pavement, only to be greeted by a long queue. Who wants to brave catching the flu just to shake a foot or two, and miss days off of work, we’re grown now, too many responsibilities. Netflix thought they were winning with Netflix and chill, them all year events, they need to be prepared for Netflix and heat in the winter.

SUMMERTIME FINE. People are less prone to settling in summer because of the potential talent which presents itself. More likely to sight skin, from both males and females, so why restrict yourself?

ELECTRIC BLANKETS are costly.

REMINISCENT MEMORIES. Due to there being less activity going on in people’s lives it leaves more time for people to think. More time to analyse. More time to realise what went wrong and how and a whole lot of what ifs.

CHRISTMAS GIFTS. You’ve got the wrong one take your pagan holiday and go.

It stops being a compliment when you’re only desired in the winter. It’s almost a sense of being the fall back guy. If you didn’t get a partner all year round you make an appearance towards Christmas. I am able to take note of those who have shown consistency, unless I otherwise altered their behaviours, and those who only appear when they are in need…

STAY COLD LOL

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