An explanation as to how you are cock-blocking yourself
1. Preconception. Let’s face it, he’s an asshole with a hidden agenda. You knew that before he even opened his mouth. He’s a male after all. Same product, different packaging. You would know, you’ve dated them all. The best way to tackle this way of thinking is to reverse it onto yourself. Do you believe you are the same as every other woman? Should every man judge you upon stereotypes and assumptions?
2. Trust issues. You don’t trust him. At all. He says he has feelings for you, but he’s lying. He has to be because every man before him lied or hurt you in some sort of way. Every time, previous to this, you have been hurt as a result of allowing yourself to be vulnerable. What you have failed to remember is that you can’t find love without vulnerability. Unfortunately it is part of the process. Pain and heartache are a sign of a lesson to be learnt, to direct us and better guide us to what we need.
3. You don’t catch feelings you throw them. This links into number 2. The fear of not being in control of your emotions. Feelings make it difficult to deem your reactions to certain scenarios. It’s easy to say that you will never be with a cheater but to then be in a relationship and be cheated on, you could find that the decision that follows is not so easy to make. Placing emphasis on not catching feelings could result in more stress than just allowing the relationship to develop naturally. It’s like fighting gravity, the higher you climb to avoid the inevitable force, the greater the fall.
4. Intimacy. Avoiding intimacy can be seen as a sure way of eliminating catching feelings. Intimacy is a way of demonstrating how we feel for a person so what better way to show that we do not like a person? This theory can backfire, falling for someone who you have a limited intimacy with may feel more overwhelming. To know that your feelings have still blossomed, regardless of the water drought environment you have planted them in, can prove to make your feelings more substantial.
5. Self esteem. You know your worth yet you don’t believe that he does. You love yourself yet you don’t believe that he ever could. You know what you deserve yet you don’t think he will ever give that to you. Let’s be honest, you have to get to know someone before you can determine their worth. At the beginning of any relationship it is difficult to determine whether, that what is being portrayed, is real or just a pretence. The way in which you treat yourself sets a tone for those around you. If it is clear to see that you love yourself then others will too. You attract what you exhume.