An intro to a self help guide/book being written by Ms Lissa Shaneè
You fucked up. You know you were wrong. You have better morals than this. You’ve always said that you would never take part in something like this. But you did it. At that particular moment in time none of these thoughts, that you are now having, entered your mind. At that particular moment in time you lost all sense of restriction. At that particular moment in time you were free.
We are our worst enemies when it comes to placing judgement. We fear what the world knows and how they will perceive us, but think, when you are trying to rationalise your actions and nobody yet has knowledge, who is there to fear? Surely it is only you. Surely you are running from your own judgement, your own beliefs, your own perception of yourself.
You are trying to segregate yourself from the labels attached to this act. Afraid that people will humour you. Predicting their reactions. These emotions are based on your own perception of what you have done. You deemed this act laughable, you labelled culprits, you ridiculed those stupid enough to indulge. Now on the other side of the scale, you are afraid of yourself, or more, the person you were before it happened.
We find it hard to understand why we rebel against our own ideals. Remember when you were young and your parents tried to set boundaries, not only to keep you reigned in but to assist you in living a better life than they did? The moment you were given a sense of freedom you began testing those boundaries, ignoring the strict instructions you had been given. You wanted to experience the world outside of the bubble you had been trapped in. As we get older we begin to adopt the behaviour of our parents and continue to try and mother/father ourselves. We no longer rely on any other adult entity to dictate what is right or wrong.
Is it strange to believe that we may challenge our own beliefs and morals? An element of growth and maturity is learning and gaining wisdom. Sometimes we have to experience a situation in order to overstand it. We place restrictions on ourselves, not only because we believe it is in our best interests, but because society and environmental factors have told us that this is how we will maintain who we are.
An understanding cannot be mistaken as an overstanding. By using the term overstand we are referring to understanding a concept so much that you begin to overstand. A further step after understanding. This is a point that, majority of the time, cannot be obtained unless the person in question has personally experienced it. You may understand the restrictions you have placed in your life but you may not overstand them until you learn a direct lesson from rebelling against these ideals.
You did that forsaken thing you thought was immoral. You did it. Now own it.