No one wants to admit they are shallow. That they possibly like to occasionally judge a book by its cover.
No. No I’m not. Wait. Actually…
Out of all my friends I probably rack up the most laughs in terms of being with a suitor, who doesn’t look like the right fit for me. Understand that I am not making reference to attractiveness as that is due to perception. Who my friends may deem unattractive, I may lust for. I just mean I’ve had a tendency in the past to find a partner which helps me to become half of an odd looking couple. I’ve been with someone shorter than me. I’ll pause and wait for you all to finish your banter 🙄. I’ve been with a guy that’s prettier than me, yeah I said it, prettier. Yes this is a big deal for women, we don’t like to be shown up by our partner, in the appearances department. We are born to exhume vanity in this society, so a pretty boy may cause us insecurities.
I ain’t got no type. All jokes aside I’ve never considered myself a one type of man, woman. Please make sure you read that last sentence properly, no I am not here sharing out the pum pum. I’ve never been able to answer the question ‘what is your type?’ It throws me off. My preferences are of the mind rather than the physical. I tend to end up crushing on a friend, who has shown their interest. I’ve always put this down to, not only my barriers being let down as I’m no longer on the defensive, but because I have gotten to know them on a level which is not romantic. They have let me explore their world in a way that they never would have, if they were trying to court me initially. My fascination with the mind means I seek more than just the outer shell of a person.
So I’m not shallow. Or am I?
Ladies, lets be honest. As we get older we start looking out for certain things subconsciously. One example would be, baby father material. We will see a guy and the admiration wouldn’t cease at the point of which you realise you find him attractive, but at the point you realise both of your genes could create beautiful babies. If he is appealing to the womb and ovaries, your future self is now thanking you for considering her life. You’ve found your D.I.L.F (dad I’d like to fornicate). Women tend to measure success in the form of family and marriage/relationship, which is why this is important to them. Handsome, desirable husband, 2.4 beautiful children in the massive 5 bedroom house. What dreams are made of.
There’s a motto I also like to live by. Never demand standards which you cannot uphold yourself. I’m sorry but it’s downright rude. You own an Oyster card, not even registered to your name, you found with money already on it, but you want to dictate that your man have a flashy car, 16 plate or newer, in order to activate your gush pipe. £1.50 can only take you so far babe, a bus journey and done, not even return. You already have two children but your turning down men with kids because you ain’t about baby mama drama. You’re a mother, are you the stereotype that you are forcing upon people? Should he not worry about baby father drama, can this not go two ways? I bring this up because it can prove discriminatory. The other day I was told that my sisters friend had bagged a model type girl, who is a popular ‘public figure’. I was also told that he wouldn’t have had a look in unless he was earning the money he has and the status. I argued that if she is of that standard then this is not a problem as she may feel that’s what she deserves, so he couldn’t holla until he could attain that. At the same time it’s clear that this guy has always had the potential, meaning had he tried to get with her a little earlier in his lifetime, he would’ve got rejected although he was still working toward his life goals he has achieved now. Is this being shallow?
All in all I think we have to admit to ourselves that the first form of attraction is the physical. Sight is usually the first sense we use (although social networks and the popularity of catfishing is taking over). It doesn’t make you shallow to be attracted to certain aspects of appearance. It’s preference. When you spot his trunk print in his grey joggers, don’t stunt like you don’t look 👀. When he’s beard gang. When it’s clear he goes to the gym. When he has nice eyes and dimples. Oh sorry, clearly I’m dreaming up my fantasy man. He slyly sounds like The Game. Anyways, there is nothing wrong with preferences, it becomes shallow at the point that you discriminate anyone who doesn’t fit in your dream. This means you are potentially passing up on a soulmate, perfectly suited to you, in order to get what your eyes desire. The point at which your eyes satisfaction outweighs your heart’s, you are shallow.